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An Open Letter to the Internet

January 26, 2012

Dear Internet,

Not to be a total douchebaguette, but I think your memes are shitty.

Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy or meme or two or five. But the whole Impact-font-size-64 format is getting staler than these expired Cheetos I’m eating.

Remember the good ol’ days when only funny shit would go viral? Me neither, but that’s besides the point. These days, any Bro Schmoe with a half-decent wifi signal can generate his own meme. And that makes the Internet a very scary place. A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad place: a place where people are still LMAO-ing over “David After Dentist” and “Leave Britney Alone”, a place where 4chan and AOL still exist, a place where people are still sharing 24-month-old GIFs via emails with subject lines like “fwd: fwd: fwd: FWD: Fwd: fwd: FWD: funny!”

Internet, I propose that you upgrade your game. Or, at the very least, adopt higher standards for garnering meme-dom. Because the uber-sophisticated thought process of the average meme-maker goes something like this:

We’ve got to do something about this. Because 2006 called. It wants its memes back…so they can RIP in the cyber-graveyard with buddies like Netscape, Xanga, and the guy from “Chocolate Rain”.

Oh and while you’re at it, Mr. Internet, can we kill Reddit too? Thx! LYLAS.

Sincerely, Steph

 

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